Boys Don't Hit Girls
by Cherry-Toxic
Summary: Two-Shot. The G-Revs soon learn that girls can be very frightening creatures. It's an all out war-zone.
1. Chapter 1

**I wasn't sure whether to rate this T or M, but to be honest if you're a teenager, 'chances are you've heard talk like this all before.**

**Ages are as follows. Kai, Julia - 16. Takao, Max, Rei, the Professor, Hiromi, Emily, Mao - 15. Mathilda - 14. Daichi -12. Set just after G-rev.**

**My first attempt at a real humour fic. Failure awaits.**

**Please review.

* * *

**

Hiromi Tachibana is cruel. Possibly evil. Definitely sadistic.

And does _not_ understand Beyblade at all!

Well, so says Takao Kinomiya anyway.

"Hiromi! Give my Dragoon back!" Takao growled.

The cute brunette gave a sickly sweet smile. "Or else what?" She cooed.

Ten pairs of eyes watched Takao intently as he ground his teeth together in frustration. Boys don't hit girls, do they?

Hiromi smirked triumphantly. "Well, that's settled then! Come on, girls!"

"Hey, wait a minute," Max interrupted, halting the five girls before they left the dojo. "C'mon ladies. This isn't really fair."

"What's not fair?" Julia Fernadez of F-Dynasty asked with a raised eyebrow. "We're giving you the week off. I don't understand why you're complaining!"

"Yeah, but you can't just take our blades away!" Daichi stated in an aggressive tone as he stormed up to Hiromi who held Tyson's and his own beyblades tightly in her hands. "So give 'em back, old hag!"

A vein popped up on Hiromi's forehead and five or the six boys stepped back cautiously sensing an explosion waiting to happen. However, Hiromi somehow managed to cap her temper and took a few large breaths before she wagged her finger at Daichi.

"Listen up, monkey boy. You guys have been training far too hard. I know you guys are serious competitors and all that jazz; but you _need_ a holiday," she explained. "And I knew very well that you weren't going to comply that easy, so the girls and I thought that by taking away your blades we could reach some sort of agreement, okay?"

Not okay. As soon as she finished, protests were heard all around.

"GIMMIE BACK MY BLADE, HAG!" Three guesses who that was.

"Mao, can you please talk some sense into them?" Rei interjected, his 'sorta-girlfriend' shaking her head with Rei's Driger beyblade clutched in her hand.

"Sorry Rei; Hiromi's right. You guys have been working too hard, you need a break." Mao smiled apologetically, but there was no use arguing with the pink-haired girl. Fiery tempered and stubborn to the end; she was just as head-strong as Hiromi.

Next was Max's turn as he turned on the puppy-dog eyes and shuffled closer to a nervous looking Mathilda who seemed slightly out of place next to the four other confident girls.

"Hey Mathilda, you're a sweet girl," Max said, tilting his head and blinking innocently, knowing the magic those huge blue eyes of his could work. "You don't wanna _steal_ my blade, do you? Don't fall into the same rank as these - AHH! HEY!"

Mao roughly shoved Max away as Mathilda looked very close to giving in.

"Don't fall for the puppy-dog eyes, Mathilda," Mao advised, taking the green Draciel beyblade from the timid girl. "Max may look sweet but he's a conniving little crook at heart!"

Max laughed and rubbed the back of his head while smiling brightly, "looks like you've got me figured out!"

"MAXIE!" Takao howled, "Stop… FRATRINZING with the enemy!" The bluenette then tuned his frustration to the smallest member of the group. "HOW could you let them get our blades!?"

The Professor cowered under Takao's burning gaze.

"It wasn't my fault!" He cried, "Emily tricked me!"

"Well, it wasn't hard," the flaming haired girl remarked with a smug smirk.

"URGH!" Takao through his arms up in annoyance. "Kai! Aren't you going to say anything!?"

The sixth and oldest member of the boys had stayed completely silent since learning the girls had stolen their beyblades. Instead he had taken to glaring at Julia who tightly held his Dranzer blade. Most people would feel awkward and uncomfortable under his infamous glare, however Julia - matching him in age and almost in height - was not one to back down easily. Instead she used her gender to her advantage and taunted Kai by slipping his blade into her cleavage. Kai wasn't going to snatch it back and risk being accused of being a pervert and well - boys don't hit girls, do they?

Hiromi, Emily and Mao giggled at Julia's antics while Mathilda covered the amused smile on her face with her palm.

"Well boys, enjoy your week off!" Julia announced gleefully, and the five girls left the dojo victoriously.

Takao, Daichi, Rei, Max and Kai all rounded on the professor.

"Erm, Peace guys?" He gulped. No luck there, he stepped backwards as they closed in on him. "Aw, come on! How was I supposed to know what they were planning?"

Max sighed irritably.

"He's right, guys," he said in the Professors' defence. "Ever since those five have shared a room they've gotten out of hand."

"But they're just a bunch of _girls!_ Daichi screamed.

"And if you remember correctly, Daichi; it only took _one_ of those _girls_ to keep you under control," Takao huffed as he crossed his arms. "_And_ Rei would _never_ defy his precious Mao. _And now _they can see through Max's sweet-talk!"

Daichi scowled. "So what about you and Kai then!" He snapped, jabbing his thumb in Kai's direction.

"I don't hit girls," Kai said indifferently.

Takao scowled at the eldest teen.

"Well then, since Kai's use of violence is off the list -" At this Kai glared at him "- It looks like _I _am left. And _I_ happen to have a rather ingenious plan!"

Noticing that he had everyone's undivided attention, Takao beckoned them all to come closer. Huddled together in a circle, he whispered to them a short and not-very-detailed analyses of his plan. And he was met with five rather horrified _are-you-crazy-or-is-your-cap-on-too-tight_ states.

_Why_ can't boys hit girls?!

* * *

"Takao, you're mad!" Rei hissed from the hallway as the loud bluenette barged into the room the girls were sharing. Of course, they weren't in there at the time - come on - he may have fought evil bit-beasts and saved the world several times, but even Takao's not _that_ brave. No, currently the girls were out shopping by Julia's command. Apparently it had been a matter of _emergency_.

"They're not here, Rei!" Takao said loudly as Max, Daichi and the Professor all crept into the room as though expecting it to by booby-trapped. Outside the room, Rei and Kai glanced at each other before Kai shrugged and marched into the room as well. Rei followed unsurely.

"Okay team," Takao said, "Operation Underwear Drawer: _Commence_!"

Rei rubbed his hand over his face. "This is not going to work." He mumbled.

"_Believe_ me, Ray" Takao assured, "if a girl wants to hide something; she puts it in her underwear drawer. Fact of life."

"Whatever…"

Takao and Daichi went straight to work, opening drawers and peering inside. Max and the Professor were slightly more hesitant but eventually began pulling at the drawers. Kai stood vacantly in the centre of the room, arms crossed with his eyes roaming over the decoration of posters and, more noticeably, the piles of dirty clothes spewed across certain parts of the floor. Rei came and stood next to him; rummaging through a ladies room was just completely inappropriate in his books.

"AHA!" Came a glorious roar.

The boys swivelled around on the spot.

"Did you find them?" Max asked excitedly as Daichi stood with his hands in an open drawer.

"No, but look!" Daichi cackled madly, jumping around with a - !

"A BRA!"

Shook washed over the group as Daichi waved the pink, lacy garment around in the air. Kai face-palmed.

"_Daichi!_" Rei hissed, "_Put. It. Back!"_

Daichi just laughed as he stretched it out and eyed the cups.

"Who do you think it belongs to!?" He hooted, "It's pretty big -" to make his point more known, Daichi placed one of the cups on his head. Max and Takao couldn't help but laugh. But Rei and the Professor looked appalled.

"I don't think it's Mathilda's or Emily's… Or the old Hag's," Daichi said as played with the straps, the cup still on his head. He smirked mischievously. "But Julia and Mariah have big boobies!"

"DAI - _chi - !"_

The room suddenly went silent as they heard a door slam downstairs, followed by voice. _Girl's_ voices. Kai slowly removed his hand from his face and mentally groaned. He did not want to be caught in a girls room. He had a reputation _Goddamn-it!_

"Uh oh," Max breathed. He didn't want to be caught either. Hell hath no fury like a woman … uh…catching men going through her personals…

"Quick!" Tyson whispered frantically. "In here!"

He pointed at the huge built-in, sliding-door wardrobe. Daichi and the Professor shot at it quicker than blinking, where as Max need a bit of a shove from Takao. Rei and Kai, however, did not move. Takao panicked as the voices became louder and footsteps were heard pounding up the stairs.

"Do you want Mao to find you in her room with all the drawers open?" Takao asked Rei in a hushed voice to which Rei shook his head fearfully. Takao rounded on Kai. "And do _you_ want them to find you in here _alone_? They've wanted to put make-up on you for ages, y'know?"

Kai's eyes widened considerably at the thought. And boys don't hit girls, do they?

Kai and Rei followed Takao into the wardrobe, tripping over the other pairs of feet clumsily before one of them blindly grasped the door and slid it shut. Just in time too, because only seconds later the five girls came into the room, talking and laughing.

The wardrobe wasn't completely solid and had small designs carved right through the wood which allowed light to pass inside the darkened space. Each of the boys had their own small gap to peer through. Back in the room Julia was emptying the contents of a plastic bag onto the double bed. The boys couldn't see what though.

"Here you are, Mathilda!" Julia said brightly, picking up a colourful, slightly rectangular box - just about big enough to fit an apple or orange inside. She chucked it over to Mathilda who caught it and looked at the it nervously.

"I - I'm not sure Julia, I've never used them before," Mathilda stammered, as she opened the box and pulled out a leaflet.

"Don't push her into using them, Julia," Emily interjected, "I don't like using them either."

A confused look was shared between most the boys currently occupying the wardrobe.

"Really?" Julia asked sounding surprised. "Wow, I don't know how you can use sanitary towels. They're so uncomfortable!"

Frowns appeared on the boys faces… did they just hear what they thought they heard?

"Agreed." Hiromi added.

"I don't know," Mao said slowly, as she took the leaflet from Mathilda and glanced through it briefly. "I don't like towels either, but I tried using tampons once and -" she chuckled to herself "- and I couldn't get it up!"

Julia laughed, "_how_?"

"I don't know," Mao giggled, "it actually _hurt_ and I just… I - I -" she broke into a fit of laughter again.

"Mao! You can't not tell us now!"

Mao wiped her eyes. "Sorry." She gasped, "It's just that I got… I got it like, _halfway_ in and I thought that I'd done it. But then I was training with Rei and it just sort-of _popped out_ into my underwear!"

The girls burst out laughing. However, a rather cold breeze seemed to sweep over the boys. Takao's lips were actually curving downwards with every word he heard, while Max and the Professor shared a deeply disturbed look with each other. And Rei looked horrified as he remembered the day a few months ago when Mao had suddenly froze in the middle of a bey-battle before sprinting back to their home village without even collecting her beyblade. She had never told him why… and now he was quite thankful she hadn't. _That _would have been a very awkward moment.

"Needless to say I haven't tried to use them again!" Mao finished as the laughter died down.

"Honestly, rub a bit of Vaseline over the tube and they just slip right in!" Hiromi said, only Mao started laughing again.

"Eww, Hirmoi. Vaseline? I'm not some _dried-up_ old lady!"

_Bad thoughts, bad bad thought_. Rei stuck his fingers into his ears.

"Well you _should_ try it!" Julia mentioned, then nodding to Mathilda and Emily, "all of you. Believe me they work better and are more comfortable than sanitary towels."

"I don't know, Julia," Mathilda squeaked nervously as she pulled out one of the brightly wrapped tampons. "I mean, we're all different. I've heard they hurt the first times you use them."

Julia threw herself down on the bed and sighed.

"They _can_ do," Julia said eventually, "but it's way better than walking around with a great, big _mattress_ between your legs!"

Hiromi spluttered uncontrollably at that comment. Takao gagged.

"Plus, you need some practise," Julia continued with a smirk, "because one day something much _bigger_ is gonna' be going up there! Right, Mao?"

Mao went red in the face. "Why are you singling _me_ out?"

"You and Rei of course! When are you going to get down and dirty!?"

Rei could have lit up the wardrobe with all the colour that swam to his face. Takao suppressed a snicker as he nudged Rei in the ribs playfully.

Hiromi laughed out loud.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you, missy!" Julia mocked, her eyes glistening. "What about you and Takao, hmm?"

Hiromi stopped laughing abruptly and Takao froze. Rei smirked.

"What do you mean!?" Hiromi exclaimed, he pitch of her voice rising a few notes.

"Well, you've been dancing around each other for a while now," Julia stated innocently. Hiromi spluttered incoherently, _very_ red in the face. Julia bit her lip as she forced herself not to laugh. "But anyway, enough of that. Mathilda, I'll show you how to use a tampon!"

"Oh HELL NO!"

The five girls shrieked as the wardrobe door flew open and Tyson and Max flew out, closely followed by Rei and the Professor.

"What on _earth_ were you guys doing!" Emily stormed once her heart stopped hammering against her ribs.

Mao gasped as she saw Rei who was just as red as she was.

"Were you in there the _whole_ time?" She asked, horrified.

Max grasped Rei's arm and began to pull him from the room. "Yes, unfortunately we were!" He laughed nervously, passing Mathilda who had also turned a bright red colour in the face. Rei sent Mao an apologetic look and a promise that they would speak later before being dragged from the room.

The girls glanced over the remaining boys, notably Kai who had not made himself fully visible until now. Julia's eyes sparkled when she saw him, her hand automatically reaching for her make-up bag. However, Kai - being as guarded as he was - picked up on this and automatically began to walk for the door.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" She shouted. Kai froze at the door and glared at her.

"To pour _bleach_ into my ears," he snapped before exiting swiftly.

Emily smirked, "I think we just made the _Great_ Kai Hiwatari feel _uncomfortable_!" She announced loudly enough for him to hear.

The Professor impatiently shoved Takao towards the door since he had been _staring_ at Hiromi so intently it was beginning to get creepy.

"Well, that was interesting…" Mathilda commented as soon as they were out the room.

"I don't get it!"

The girls shrieked again as a voice spoke from the wardrobe.

It would appear Daichi had been left behind. Seeing as though he stood surrounded by their clothes, a confused scowl settled on his face and… a _bra_ on his head; which Julia recognised as her own.

"Old Hag! What are tampons?" Daichi asked rudely.

Instead of getting angry about the 'Old hag' comment; Hiromi sent a cruel smirk to her girlfriends which was instantly returned. Emily closed the door as the other closed in on the red-haired boy.

"Well, Daichi, we're going to tell you a little about the birds and the bees."

* * *

**End.**

**Cheers for reading. Please leave a review!**

**Phoenix-falling.**


	2. Chapter 2

"This… this is perfect."

Julia's eyes were sparkling with psychotic happiness; a sadistic gleam an evil - if not slightly deranged - smile upon her lips.

"What's perfect?" Emily asked, looking up from her laptop to where the older girl was stood bracing her figure against the windowsill. Mathilda also directed her gaze towards Julia, feeling anxious about the twisted smile resting on her face. She made quite a sight, her slim but well-proportioned body blocking the sunlight casting a curvaceous shadow across the floor. Julia's grin widened.

"We have the boys right where we want them!"

Hiromi, who sat in the corner of the room on her bed reading a beyblade magazine, raised her head along with an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

Julia spun on her heel - her hair dancing - to address her fellow female companions.

"The thing with boys is that their prideful. They don't like a strong woman -"

Emily snorted, "I know that only two well. The guys on my team couldn't stand the fact that I was just as good at blading as they were."

"And why is that? Because they were intimidated!" Julia announced, answering her own question.

"But what does that have to do with the G-Revs?" Hiromi asked, chucking the magazine onto the sheets next to her.

"Today, we've shown them our power and they were intimidated," Julia grinned and Hiromi frowned.

"What…? Our power is talking about periods and tampons?"

"A strong woman uses everything at her disposal!" The evil gleam in Julia's eyes returned as she rubbed her hands together like a villain from a comic book. "We have them on the ropes and we need to strike again before the recover."

"She's gone mad."

"No, no, listen. It worked with my brother and it'll work with the G-Revs. You beat 'em down 'til they accept that we're in charge," Julia pounded her fist into the palm of her other hand still grinning madly. "Just look at what we did to Daichi. Poor boy was traumatized after our 'talk.'"

Emily cackled, "that was pretty funny! Did you see his face? I haven't heard his annoying voice since."

Just then the bedroom door opened and Mao slipped inside.

"Oh, how was you _talk_ with Rei?" Julia asked slyly.

Mao sighed. "It… it was…" She tossed herself down on one of the unoccupied beds and stared at the ceiling, contemplating. She was silent for a few moments before bursting into a fit of giggles. "It was so _funny!_ I've never seen Rei look so embarrassed before!"

Julia marched towards her and leaped onto the bed, hovering over Mao's face.

"Details, woman! Give us the details!"

Mao only giggled harder. "He… he gave me this long, stuttering speech about how he would never try anything _inappropriate_ and how he respects me… and - and I couldn't help myself!" She covered her face with her arms while her body began shaking with repressed laughter. Julia immediately began to pry her arms away.

"What did you do!"

"Hehe, I gave him this _pout,_" Mao giggled, pursing her lips ad blinking her eyes seductively. "And then I… I said to him, '_what if I want it? I promise not to tell my brother!'_"

Hiromi burst out laughing, "Oh, Mao! You _hussy!_"

Mao sat up, wiping at her watery eyes. "The look on his face. He went so _red_, mumbled something incoherent and then just wandered away! You'd think that I'd flashed at him or something!"

"You should have!" Julia said, pulling herself to her feet. "This is exactly what I was talking about! We landed the first blow and now we've got to take them out, one by one. Daichi's already out of the picture, and now Mao has taken care of Rei. We've got to focus on the other four now."

Suddenly, all five girls had their heads together.

"So how do we do this?"

"Start with the weakest link."

"The Professor?"

"Yeah."

"I've got an idea."

* * *

He was in the living room when he heard it. The sound of overenthusiastic and cheesy pop music accompanied by the unmistakeable voice of his one true love.

'Ming-Ming!' The Professor thought joyfully, a blush rising to his cheeks as he followed the sound. Who was listening to his wonderful idol? Maybe they could trade merchandise!

His feet lead him to the kitchen and the brunette found himself staring at Emily perched on a stool at the island breakfast table. Her laptop was open, playing the pop tunes of the one and only Ming-Ming and the red-haired girl was tapping her foot along to the fast beat.

"Oh, hey there!" Emily smiled and the Professor tilted his head, automatically noticing a difference in the scientists appearance. The normally bland looking girl had the smallest traces of make-up on her face, her eyes defined with a little bit of black which made them appear larger and - he gulped - very _attractive_. His own eyes wandered lower, breath catching in his throat as he noticed the usual tennis shirt had been exchanged for something low-cut and figure hugging. He was startled back to reality when Emily reached into a bag on the table and retrieved a handful of popcorn, bringing the salty corn flakes to her mouth and popping one inside.

"I-I didn't know you liked Ming-Ming," the Professor stuttered, moving closer to the red-head.

"Well, you don't know _that_ much about me at all," Emily said, smiling coyly as she shifted herself so she was slightly more angled towards the brunette. "Maybe we should - Oops-a-daisy!"

The Professors eyes widened considerably behind his hair as he watched a piece of popcorn fall from her hand hovering near her mouth.

And land straight into her cleavage.

"Oh dear!" Emily laughed carelessly, while she dropped her hand to the opening of her top and began fishing the popcorn out with her fingers. Completely and utterly _shameless_. The professor could only stare as colour rushed to his cheeks as the top was stretched forwards, giving him a peek of a red bra and eyefuls of the top of those fleshly mounds.

"Ah ha!" Emily cheered, retrieving the lost piece, waving it in the brunettes face - "got 'cha!" - before plopping it into her mouth, eyes sliding shut and crunching it with a sultry, _"mmmmhhm!"_

The professor tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

"What was I saying again?" Emily said, her fingers pulling another piece of popcorn from the bag. "Oh right!" Her hand travelling closer to those gloss-coated lips. "We should - oh not again!" Emily burst out laughing as a second piece of popcorn _slipped_ from her fingers and landed - bulls-eye - between her breasts. And once again, Emily flauntingly slipped her fingers down her top and began searching her bra for it.

"Haha, look at me! I'm soooo _clumsy!_"

The Professor had to remind himself how to breathe as he willed the blood in his body to go to other places aside form his face and his… you know… down _there_. But try as he might, it wasn't every day a teenage girl would sit there and gave you something akin to a _free show_. Especially not to him. God, he was _fifteen_, okay? Leave him alone!

"I just love_ salty_ popcorn!" Emily told him gleefully as she found the hidden piece, but instead of eating it like she had the last; the red-haired scientist held it out to the blushing boy into front of her. "Want to try some?" She purred.

The professor squeaked, gasping and bringing a trembling hand to cover his nose which was leaking crimson blood. He backed up awkwardly.

"I-I-I'm s-sorry!" He stammered, one hand desperately searching for something to block up his bloody nose. "Nose b-bleed. I get them a-a lot…"

"Hold on," Emily smiled as if nothing was wrong. She stood up and the Professor couldn't help but groan noticing for the first time that she wore extra skinny jeans that cupped her butt just right. As if she was doing this on purpose, he watched as the pretty scientist slid her fingers into the tight back pocket of her jeans, wiggling her hips ferociously as she tugged out a thin packet of tissues.

"Tissue?" She asked sweetly, battling her lashes.

But the Professor had already fled the room.

Emily sighed and plonked herself back down, switching off the annoying sound of Ming-Ming's voice and abruptly fell into a fit of giggles. Her laughter was soon joined by others as Julia, Mao, Hiromi and Mathilda piled into the room having watched the display from outside the kitchen window which was open by the tiniest of cracks.

"Oh, Emily! I didn't know you had it in you!" Julia cried, pulling the red-head into a hug. "I'm _so_ proud of you!"

"I don't know how you do it!" A laughing and blushing Mathilda said, who, despite her innocent nature, had very much began to enjoy herself with the other four girls. "Who's next?"

"Takao." Julia commanded, her sparkling eyes landed on Hiromi. "Takao is next. And I have a _brilliant_ plan for Mr. World Champion."

* * *

"Daichi. Daichi. Daichi. _Daichi!_"

Takao growled in annoyance at the huddled figure in front of him. He was upstairs inside him own bedroom, the lights were off the curtains pulled shut so there were dark shadows cast all around the room. Sat in the foetal position in the corer of _his_ bed was Daichi. The young red-head had been here for two - maybe three - hours. Ever since he had escaped the confines of the girls bedroom.

Takao sighed. Maybe he felt guilt for forgetting Daichi in the hands of those witches. He didn't know what the girls had said to him but if the conversation they had previously overheard was anything to go by then he probably didn't want to know. Regardless; Daichi had not spoken a word and had instead locked himself inside Takao's dark bedroom' eyes wide and rocking himself into calmness.

"We've ordered pizza, I got you a meat feast, your _favourite_!" Takao sang hoping to get a reaction but to no avail. Takao screwed his face up in anger. "_OI!_ I'm talking to you!" Any other time and place, Daichi would have pounced by now and the two would be wrestling along with a string of curses and insults until Hiromi would tear the two apart.

Takao couldn't help but blush as he thought about Hiromi. _Have we really been dancing around each other?_ He asked himself. He didn't know.

With another sigh, Takao pushed himself away from Daichi and the bed.

"I'll call you when the pizzas are here. You'd better come and eat with us! No rival of mine spends dinner time cowering in a dark room!"

Takao flashed a smile which went unnoticed before exiting the room…

…And coming face to face with Hiromi.

"Eh?" Takao gaped at the girl in front of him, taking an awkward step back.

"H-Hiromi! Old buddy, old pal," and Takao noticed that he sounded like a douche and the way Hiromi crinkled her nose at him was kind of cute.

"Takao…" Hiromi began softly and _shyly_? Takao had to lean forward to catch her quiet words. "Um… about what you heard…?" Takao felt heat rise in his face again, he was so _not_ mentally prepared to have this conversation.

"O-Oh _that_?" Takao laughed closing his eyes and nervously scratching the back of his head. "Hahaha, your friends are mad, eh? T-there's nothing between us!"

He wasn't expecting to open his eyes and meet a very _hurt_ looking Hiromi. Wait… were her eyes looking a little wet…?

He'd only seen this side of Hirmoi once before when she first joined the Bladebreakers in training and he… well he may have said some _unkind_ things to her. But the warning signs were going of in his head.

_**DANGER! DANGER!**__ CRYING FEMALE IN THE VICINITY! FIX OR FLEE!_

He may not of been a genius, but even Takao knew there was no worse feeling than making a girl cry.

"W-well, we're pals aren't w-we? Y'know when y-you're not being a bossy old witch that is! Ah haha!" Takao trailed off in despair as he realised he was just making the situation worse.

"Oh my _God!_"

"Oh no he _didn't_!"

"I can't _believe_ he just said that!"

Takao blinked and staggered backwards as Mao, Julia, Emily and Mathilda suddenly materialized out of fucking _nowhere_ and decided to get right up in his fucking face.

"What a heartless thing to say, Takao!"

"I'm a bossy witch…?" Hiromi whispered softly, looking at the ground. Emily pulled her into a big girly hug while shooting Takao the evilest glare she could manage.

"You're _awful_, Takao!"

"W-wait, _wait_! I meant she's only like that _sometimes!_ Y'know, the rest of the time she's alright!" Takao tried with a reassuring smile that he didn't quite believe in. It dropped almost instantly when Hiromi snapped her head up and narrowed her eyes at him.

"I'm '_alright'_ am I?" She seethed.

"After _everything_ she's done for you, you say she just _'alright'?_"

"_What?_ Let me -"

"Is that how you treat your friends, Takao?"

"Not much of a friend, is he?"

"Look, we're great friends, me and Hiromi!" Takao insisted, throwing his hands up in the air as he tried to silence the girls long enough to get a sentence in and defend himself. "We're _more_ than friends! We're like _best_ fr -"

"_More _than friends?" Someone gasped.

"Are you asking her out, Takao?" Julia inquired.

"W-What! No -!"

"Oh, so you're saying she's _ugly_?"

"You think I'm _UGLY!"_ Hiromi fumed and Takao felt himself being backed into a corner.

"No! Of course I don't think you're ugly! You're not!"

"Then what's wrong with her?"

"I'm just not attractive enough for your high standards?" Hiromi accused, folding her arms.

"_No!_ God damnit! You're _VERY_ ATTRACTIVE, OKAY?" Takao all but shouted, silencing the girls who all gasped in-sync with each other and Takao fumbled awkwardly on the spot as his blush covered his entire face.

"Takao…" Mao breathed, her eyes wide. "Are… have - have you…"

"What?" Takao mumbled, looking down.

"Have you been having _NAUGHTY_ thoughts about, Hiromi?" Mao shrieked as she and Mathilda covered their mouths aghast.

Takao jerked himself away from the girls as they closed in on him, looking murderous and horrified like he was some sort of pervert who'd just been caught peeping in the ladies room.

"You're disgusting, you pervert!"

"I'm not -!"

"I bet it was him who convinced the others to hide in our wardrobe!"

"No, it wasn't!" Although technically, _Operation: Underwear Drawer_ had been his idea.

"So, you're saying it wasn't your idea?"

"I bet you've been thinking about Hiromi _naked_, haven't you?"

"_Yes_… I mean _NO_! Yes, it wasn't my idea! And no -!" Okay, maybe once or twice he had. Shut up, he was a _fifteen_ year old guy with _hormones._

"Pervert!"

"Pig."

"Poor Hiromi!" Emily wailed, hugging the brunette as if she was the victim of sexual abuse and it struck Takao that no matter what he said, he was outnumbered here and was only digging himself a deeper hole.

Fuck, give him crazy Russians, cyborgs and dark bit-beasts any day. He couldn't handle this shit. So when he backed himself into his bedroom door, Takao wasted no time in seizing the handle and throwing himself inside; the door slamming behind. And he certainly wasn't ashamed that he ran away from the girls. Wrapping his arms around himself, Takao climbed onto his bed next to Daichi, completely understanding the younger blader.

Girls… Girls are scary.

* * *

The girls piled into their shared bedroom, clutching each other and their sides as they pretty much laughed their _arses_ off.

"You should be an actress, Hiromi!" Mathilda praised.

"Ha, I know! I think I missed my calling in life!" Hiromi laughed. "Oh my… his face!"

"Do you think Takao and Daichi are crying together?" Emily giggled.

"Who's next? Who's next?" Mao pried, her excitement bubbling uncontrollably.

"Kai and Max, hmm?" Emily said, tapping a finger on her chin. "You think you can take on Max, Mathilda? We'll leave Kai to Julia, _that'll _be a fun show."

"I don't think the same trick is going to work with those two," Julia interrupted thoughtfully. "Max may seen innocent, but he's flirty and open-minded. I just don't think it will have the same effect. And Kai… well I've got my own plans for him." She grinned cruelly, her eyes falling to her make-up bag before facing her friends again.

"Ladies, I am going to need all your help on this one…"

* * *

When the pizza delivery man rang the front doorbell, Max was surprised to be the solitary receiver of the nine pizzas stacked high on top of each other in boxes. Normally Daichi and Takao would be pouncing on the poor man like wild animals. But as he handed over the cash that had been left near the door, Max noted that he hadn't seen either Takao or Daichi for the past half hour. It was unusual not to seen them prowling around near the door or windows when expecting take-out.

Kicking the door shut with his foot, Max was grateful when Kai took half of the pizza boxes from his unsteady arms and carried them into the kitchen where they separated them depending on the topping.

"Are these ours?" Came a voice from behind them and the two males glanced back to see Mao and Hiromi. They gestured at the four boxes sat at the end of the table and Kai nodded in affirmation.

"Thanks boys!" Hiromi winked flirtatiously, before the boxes were scooped away and the two girls dashed back up the stairs.

With raised eyebrows Max and Kai glanced at each other suspiciously before shrugging. Setting the Pizzas around the table, Max went off in search of Kenny and Rei, finding the first hugging his laptop on the patio outside and the second in the dojo staring aimlessly out of the window. He managed to pry the two from their hiding spots and get them sat around the dinging table with gentle coaxing.

Kai took a less tactful approach with Daichi and Tyson. Kicking open the bedroom door, he marched over to the cowering duo, seized them by the scruff of the necks and dragged them down the stairs whilst snarling, '_you're the ones who wanted pizza so you're going to damn well eat it!'_

Nonetheless, Max and Kai might have well of eaten alone considering the miserable silence emitted from their four friends.

"Weird for the girls not to be eating with us, huh?" Max attempted conversation, but all he did was send a shiver throughout the group. He cast Kai a glance begging for help, but Kai merely shrugged. He liked it when they were quiet.

"Girls are scary," the Professor suddenly announced, to which Takao and Rei agreed with nods.

"They say one things and mean the damn other," Tyson mumbled playing with his food instead of devouring it as he usually would, and if Kai and Max hadn't noticed something was wrong before, they certainly did now.

"What's up?" Max questioned through a mouthful of pepperoni pizza. He swallowed. "Did they say something else to you guys?"

"How…"

The group turned to Daichi who spoke for the first time since the wardrobe incident that morning.

"Daichi?"

Daichi's gaze burned into the pizza placed in front of him, a scowl set on his face as he seemed highly confused and disturbed by something.

"How can they bleed for that long and not die?" He asked eventually.

And for the millionth time since he met his team-mates, Kai wanted to smash his face into the table. Instead he choose the more sensible option. Dropping his slice back into the box he was sharing with the Professor - he didn't even like greasy take-out pizza that much anyway - Kai stood and left the room; heading outside into the garden. No one argued, if anything they were simply used to Kai getting up and leaving in the middle of conversations.

Really, did Daichi _have_ to bring _that_ up while they were eating though? It's not like Kai was disgusted by girls and their… periods. It was natural, it needed to happen. But that didn't mean to say he wanted to hear about their mishaps with tampons.

Kai glared at the bey-dish in the ground. The girls still had their beyblades, and didn't seem to look like they were going to give them back anytime soon. Pity. Kai could have done with taking Dranzer for a spin to blow off a little steam.

For now, Kai was quite content to simply bask in the sun. It was summer, it was hot, Kai liked heat; so why the hell not? He let himself sink into the grass, lying down on the back, hands behind his head to cushion his skull. Once comfortably, Kai allowed his eyes to slip closed, drifting into a light slumber.

He didn't know how much time had passed but he was forced back to full consciousness when he sensed himself being spied upon. Lazily, Kai opened his eyes to slits and glanced around. There was no one in sight… except

Giggling.

Giggling meant girls.

And at that moment a shadow fell over him and Kai fully opened his eyes to find Hiromi and Mao blocking the sun.

"Hello Kai ~" Mao greeted sweetly and Kai already deduced that something was amiss. He frowned..

"Mao. Hiromi."

The two girls eyed each other before Hiromi sighed.

"I'm very sorry about this, Kai."

_What! Sorry about -_

"Now!"

Kai jerked upwards as he heard feet pound towards him. However, Hiromi and Mao predicted his movement and latched onto his shoulders, forcing him back down. He felt hands grasp at his shins and ankles, pinning them to the floor.

"Now now, Kai, stop thrashing!" Mao chimed happily. "We don't want anyone to get hurt ~"

And as much as Kai wanted to throw the girls off him, he couldn't do it without hurting at least one of them. Glancing down, Kai almost groaned seeing Mathilda was the one pinning his ankles. He could kick out quite easily but Mathilda was the last person on earth he could possibly want to hurt. If it was Julia or Hiromi, then it would tempting, since they were both evil. But not Mathilda. Kai wouldn't dare even slightly injure the (not so) sweet blader. He'd never hear the end of it.

Instead Kai settled with glaring as the girls took the time to adjust their grips on him. He had Hiromi to his right, holding his shoulder and arm and Mao doing the same on the left. Emily pressed his knees to the grass while Mathilda sat quietly at his feet.

"How can I help you?" Kai asked coldly.

"Well, aren't you docile today?"

Kai's gaze hardened as Julia approached, her eyes shining with barely contained glee. Without a second of hesitation, Julia stepped over him with one foot and _sat_ on his abdomen; straddling and securing him with her thighs. If Kai didn't have such strong self control; he would have blushed.

And that's when he noticed the small bag Julia was clutching tightly in her hands. A _make-up_ bag. A growl caught in the back of his throat, and he resisted the urge to buck and tip her off. However, it simply wasn't an option, considering the already awkward and _borderline-sexual_ position they were currently in.

Julia hummed happily as she opened the make-up bag and began digging around in the contents. Mao giggled to his left.

"He'd look good with eyeliner don't you think?"

"With those eyelashes, definitely!"

Kai rolled his eyes.

"Why don't you ladies take your group PMS-ing somewhere else?"

"Oooh ~! How _sexist!_" Julia feigned hurt as she unscrewed the cap of a little vile of lip gloss. She then extended the dark pink glossy wand towards Kai's face. "I think this is _so_ your colour. It brings out the colour in your eyes!"

"If you were a guy," Kai hissed, sending Julia a death glare, "I'd have punched you in the face by now."

Julia creased up with laugher - and Kai did _not_ appreciate the vibrations that sent through his body - before she cupped his chin.

"Well, I guess I'd better thank the Lord for giving me a vagina!" She responded brightly and brought the wand closer and closer to his lips. Kai began to squirm like hell whilst trying not to hurt any of them. God _damnit_! This is why he didn't associate himself with girls! _Damn, damn, damn!_

He hated the way he could _feel_ Mao and Hiromi shaking with laughter as the wand brushed across his lower lip, and how Julia cooed at him before applying more pressure, delicately following the curve of his lip line and painting on a pink pout.

"You're so _pretty_ for a guy!" Julia remarked as she pulled away and admired her handiwork. And Kai opened his mouth to snarl something no doubt offensive when all five girls been screaming and shrieking and Kai felt himself doused with water.

Shielding their arms over their heads, the girls scrambled to their feet and Kai took the opportunity to roll away. Once he deemed himself safe and distanced from the spawns of Satan, he looked around to find his saviour.

Which turned out to be Max.

With a hosepipe.

The blonde sprayed jets of water at the girls who backed away further into the garden, screaming about their _hair_ or their _clothes_.

"Haha! Get back you witches!" Max jeered. He winked at Kai, who was wiping furiously at his lips trying to remove that disgusting pink gloss from his lips (although he couldn't deny it tasted rather sweet). "You alright, Kai?"

"I am now," Kai said, standing up and gripping the hose with the blonde. "Turn it onto the most powerful jet." Kai smirked as the girls backed away as far as they could into the corner of the garden, mostly soaked already.

"Roger that!" Max saluted, and twisted the vile around the base of the hose, the water blasting out more powerful than before and the jet-stream increasing in distance. Together they took a few steps forward and aimed at the girls who screamed at them to stop and tried to block the jet of water with their hands.

"What's going on?"

Rei, Takao, Daichi and the Professor tumbled into the garden hearing the screams of the frantic girls.

"Payback." Kai answered simply.

"Rei! REI!" Mao screamed, her sopping wet hair plastered to her face. "Make them STOP!"

"Ah hah! No can do, sorry!" Rei laughed, holding his hands up defensively.

"Oh, you guys are so DEAD!" Hiromi yelled before getting a blast of water in her open mouth. Takao and Daichi burst out laughing simultaneously and began cheering until eventually Max turned the hose off.

"Feeling slightly cooler now ladies?" He asked, only to be met with hisses. He fingered the vile cautiously. "Hey now, calm down, or we'll soak you again!"

"We're already soaked!" Emily snapped, removing her dripping glasses.

"Okay, okay. Truce!" Julia offered holding her hands up in surrender as the girls picked themselves up and came over to face the boys quietly. Max and Kai glanced at each other before Max nodded and stuck out a hand to shake.

"Okay, truce."

But before Julia could even extend her own hand, Takao ruined the moment as he began to howl with laughter.

"Ahahahah! Y-Your, pffft hahaha! Your shirts haha- have gone _see through!_ Ahaha!"

And that's all it took. With an outraged cry, Julia launched at Kai and Max - closely followed by Hiromi - and seized the hose pipe, wresting with it in the air until the thing was knocked on and somehow _everyone_ managed to get wet.

"Get the other hose!" Emily yelled, and Mao and Mathilda ran towards the tap where a second hose lay coiled on the ground just as Kai managed to free the first hose from the girls grasp before turning it back on them.

"This mean WAR!" Daichi screeched as the girls fumbled with their own hose and sprayed straight at the little red-head.

So in the end; no truce was made. Just one epic water fight.

And of course, Grandpa Granger coming home to find a group of wet teenagers running around his house.

* * *

**I just needed to write something silly and cracky to get me back into Beyblade. Sorry.  
**

**I got the idea for this when I went to the cinema last week and was still finding bits of popcorn in my bra two days later. We've all been there.**

**No?**

**Just me then.**

**And I absolutely love Julia. She's fierce.**

**Cherry ~**


End file.
